Memories
by KyoKyon
Summary: Every memory is worth remembering...no matter how painful...no matter how much it hurts...
1. Default Chapter

KyonKyon: Ok, so I haven't updated my other stories but I absolutely had to write this one. I just read Vol.4 of 'Fruits Basket' and I was touched by something Momiji said. And so, I am going to write a story, which I had been thinking about for some time now. Please read and review! Thank you very much.

"_It doesn't matter if they are good or bad memories…so long as they are mine…I want to hold them in my heart for always…because I truly want to believe…that I will overcome them…Someday I will overcome those memories…and turn them into memories that I can be proud of…" Tohru Honda, Vol.4_

"_Momiji would still rather live with the pain of those memories…even if it's a terribly sad memory…even if it's a memory that will cause nothing but pain…even if…it's a memory that I might wish to erase from my mind forever…I believe that, if I hold onto those memories instead of trying to run away from them…one day…if I try really hard…one day I will be able to overcome those sad memories and turn them into something positive…I believe that. I believe that no memory is ever worth forgetting…not a single one…that's why I wish…she hadn't chosen to forget me…I wish she would've fought harder…but I guess I was just being selfish…" Momiji, Vol.4, when he was talking about his mother._

* * *

"_I want to stand by you…forever and EVER! I never want to leave you! I still want to…I still want to live with you…I want to study with you, to laugh with you, to eat with you…to simply be with you…why's that so hard?" Tohru cried, holding onto Kyo's sleeve, her fists clenched in a death grip._

"_Because I don't believe…I don't believe that I can give you happiness…" Kyo replied, jerking his head away to the side to hide his hurt, his fear…and his tears._

_The night was silent with the only sound being Tohru's heartbreaking sobs._

"_I believe…for the both of us…I believe…I will NEVER let you go! NEVER! I love you, Kyo…even if you were to fight it, I will always be there…I will always be there to catch when you fall…when you feel tired, I'll offer you my shoulder…when you feel like crying, I'll cry with you…"_

…………………………………………

" _I…see…" the words so quiet that it seemed to have been carried by the wind and left inside the dim room._

_Hatori could not look up._

_He could not look at this girl whom he would have to hurt._

_His fists tightened at his sides._

_Why? Why? Why?_

_So many why's and no answers…as always._

_He was always hurting people…DAMN THIS CURSE OF HIS!_

" _Hatori…it's not your fault…it isn't…" she said softly and Hatori gave a startled sigh when he felt her warm hands gently touch his cold ones._

" _You've always been a person whom others can depend on…you'll look after the others for me, won't you? Please look after Kyo for me…I…he's such a silly boy…"_

" _Tohru…" Hatori croaked out, looking up at her face for the first time, daring to finally raise his eyes to look up at her._

_He stopped astounded._

_She was smiling._

_Crying, yes…but smiling…_

" _Hatori…I've never regretted meeting the Sohma's…remember that…never…each one of you filled up my life with your love and my memories of all of you…will reside here…" with this, she pointed to her heart, "…and not here…" tapping her head gently._

_Soft footsteps were heard outside the door and the door opened gently to reveal a dark figure._

" _Now, Hatori…now…" the voice taunted and Tohru closed her eyes, giving Hatori a small shaky smile for the last time._

" _I'm sorry…" he whispered hoarsely, covering her eyes gently with his large hand._

"_Your sins are absolved…" she whispered, her hand gripping Hatori's left and then her hand fell limp._

…………………………………………………

" _Who am I? Why can't I remember? How did I get here? Why're there so many questions? Why's my mind blank?" the boy thought, panicking. He didn't know how long these questions ran through his mind but the answer was always a blank._

" _Who am I?" he whispered in the darkness of the room._

" _You are…my brother…" a voice came from across the room and the boy jumped at the sound._

" _What? My brother? I…I can't remember…I…" the boy stammered confused, squinting around to look at the figure shrouded within the darkness._

_The figure moved forward and the light went on. The boy winced, throwing his hands in front of his eyes. When his eyes got used to the light, he looked at the figure…his brother._

_His eyes widened as he looked at the tall man._

_He was wearing a white shirt, rolled up at the wrist, and it was messily tucked into his pants. His black hair fell onto one of his eye and he had the most penetrating look. _

_The boy frowned, tilting his head slightly._

" _How come I don't remember you?" he asked softly._

" _You were in an accident…I'm afraid that you hit your head and…you have amnesia…" the man…no, his brother, said._

_The boy looked down, clenching his fists and then looked up briefly, his face twisted in pain, shame and anger._

"_I…I'm sorry…" he said lamely and dropped his head, refusing to look at his brother._

" _For what?" he said gently, sitting on the bed._

" _I…I can't remember you…or myself…I…I don't even know what I look like!" the boy burst out, nearly in tears._

_The pressure on the bed lifted and the boy shut his eyes in misery. Soft footsteps._

_Then to his surprise, his brother sat beside him._

" _This is what you look like…onii-chan…" he said almost awkwardly._

_He looked up to see the mirror in front of him._

_Seeing the reflection, he gaped at himself._

_So, this is what he looked like._

_But it felt so weird…so wrong…He didn't feel like this…_

_Was this really him?_

_His fingers ran along his sharp cheekbones and then towards his almost crimson eyes._

_Touching his soft orange hair, he looked up at his brother, dismayed._

" _What's wrong?" he asked, frowning._

" _We…we don't look alike! How can we be brothers?" the boy cried out._

_His brother smiled._

" _You look…just like yo- I mean… mother…let's just say that I took after someone else…" he said, a faint smile tugging at his lips._

" _Oh…ok…um…what did I use to call you? I mean…I'm sorry but…" he said, feeling nervous._

" _Call me…nii-chan…" he said after a pause and the boy grinned gladly._

" _Ok…nii-chan…"_

…………………………………………………………

_The door closed softly and Hatori came out looking worn out and tired._

_Another man stood at the doorway._

_Seeing him, Hatori motioned towards the other room across the hall._

_He followed Hatori, his footsteps silent and quick._

" _Why did you do that? You know Akito wanted him gone… " Shigure said, gently cupping his cup of tea._

" _There…are many things in this life I have done…many things I have regretted…which I have bitterly cursed myself for…for once…I want to do the right thing…" he said softly._

" _Is this the right thing, dammit? If Akito finds out…" Shigure said harshly._

" _He won't…I'm sending Kyo away…away from all this…away from Akito…and Tohru…" he said, looking at Shigure._

_Shigure looked shocked then smiled softly._

" _To send him all alone…" he began._

" _Who said he was going to be alone?" Hatori interrupted._

" _What? What did you say?" Shigure said, shocked again._

_Hatori lit up a cigarette and then blew the smoke out._

_Looking at Shigure, his best friend, he gave a small smile._

" _I'm going with him…I'm leaving the estate…" _

" _You…can't…Akito will never let you go…and who will look after Akito?" Shigure said, looking panicked._

" _I can and I will…after what Akito made me do to Tohru…I can never live with that…I had always been a puppet for Akito…my happiness was gone…my life…what life? But I never blamed him once…not once…but when Tohru came along, everything changed…I felt so ashamed of myself…and of Akito…why was he like that? I never questioned that before, why start now? I will never forgive him for what he did to Tohru…to Kyo…to us…I am leaving…"_

" _You know he will hunt you down, don't you? He'll always manage to find you…" Shigure said sadly._

" _So be it…it can't be worse than the life I have now…"_

_I absolve your sins, Hatori… _


	2. Chapter 2

**KyoKyon: You might have noticed that I deleted the other chapters...I decided on making this like a one shot…it's better that way…hahaha, sorry about that…enjoy…**

…………………………………………

_From afar, I watched you walk…_

Everything seemed so disoriented…

_I held out my hand, hoping you would catch it…_

A mess no one could seem to sort out…

_With a smile, you walked towards me, your pace quickening…_

The loss, the pain seemed to drive everything out of focus…

_And you flitted right past me towards a future where I no longer existed…_

………………………………………

_To live with the knowledge…_

_Someone dear to you living so close to you and that someone not knowing that you even exist while you are tormented with memories of days long past…_

_With her words ringing in our memories, the words we never deserved, the love we never thought we could find and the forgiveness we could not seem to receive; I absolve your sins…_

………………………………………

Silence had always been golden for him...But not now...It tormented him and plagued him of memories of her.

He couldn't stand the stillness his heart seemed to be frozen in. It was like Time froze and he was still in its deathly yet comforting grip, locked together with the memories of yesterday. Longing to break free yet afraid of the pain that would threaten to consume him.

School was the only time he felt at ease. When he could watch her with yearning...From afar, he watched her as she laughed and talked. She couldn't remember anything...not him, not them...

There were nights when it seemed almost too much. The glass in the mirror seemed shattered as he looked at himself. Who was he? He had found himself when he found her and yet now, he couldn't recognize himself.

Droplets of blood splashed the white tiles. It seemed blood rained down in this house, which was devoid of words. Only emptiness existed within. The occupants chose not to talk to each other, flitting through the house like ghosts.

They could still hear her voice, her soft footsteps within the house...it still retained memories of her. Others would visit the house where she once lived. To simply be there.

Momiji watched as Tohru walked all alone, her arms full of books. He felt a tiny smile of remembrace as she walked carefully. Tohru always was clumsy. True to his thoughts, she stumbled and with a soft 'Ohh', she fell down on the hard floor, the books spilling all over the floor. Immediately, Momiji rushed to her side, forgetting for a moment.

" Tohru! Are you alright?" he asked, worriedly as he grasped her hand.

Tohru looked more startled by the fact that this stranger was holding her hand, rather than her fall.

" I...I...Yes...thank you very much..." Tohru thanked as the stranger helped her up. She gave him a puzzled frown. He seemed so familiar. Was he someone she knew? Her fisted hand rested at her chest, near her heart. Her heart wasd aching...why? Was he someone she used to know but forgot? His sad smile...

" You weren't meant for sadness..." she said softly, gently taking his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. The stranger seemed to be jolted at those words. Tohru smiled and gave a final wave before setting off with her books which had at some junction been picked up. She never saw the tear filled eyes of the stranger, nor the longing in those eyes. Unknown to both of them, someone was watching from the corner. A certain red head.

_It took so long...and so much effort. There were times when he felt like giving up but just the memory of her pulled him through. He wasn't the selfish boy he used to be. _

_You weren't meant for sadness..._

_Those words...none of them were ever made for sadness...through her words, he found hope...Maybe he never noticed how her words affected them and gave them hope and allowed them to take a chance, to live with courage. When she was lost, he found her words...she left them with more than just memories...she left them her legacy of kindness, words and courage. She gave him the will to defy, to live._

_The hardest thing had been the easiest to think of._

_The surprise in his violet eyes, the reluctant outstretch of his hand and the firm warmth of his hands made everything alright. _

_It took time to change...it took even greater strength to change what had changed when she left. Maybe she changed them, so softly and yet so firmly, that they no longer were surrounded by complete darkness._

_There were times of laughter, times when tears were rampant, when tempers flared but still he persisted. But most importantly, he forgve himself. _

_For all the times he was weak, for all the times he hated himself, for all the tears he shed, for all the times he missed her so bad that he tried to end it..._

_I'm sorry..._

_Your sins are absolved..._

_Why?_

_Why?_

_Why?_

_Those words were always uttered by the cursed ones..._

_"I don't know...I may not know how you feel, how it may have affected you, but i know that same feeling of helplessness and pain you feel...but in my heart, I feel glad that...she forgave me...regardless of how much i try to push it away...none of us were ever made for sadness..."_

Years passed so quickly.

He was there, waiting for her. He knew she always went this way towards her work place. She lived nearby with her best friends. At 26, she was a far cry from the innocent girl whom they used to know but she was still kind and still Tohru-like.

Momiji fiddled with his shirt while Yuki seemed more at ease if he had tried to stand upside down. Hatori, Aya and Shigure sat down at the bench, silence ruling for once. Kagura was beside him, looking at the far horizon while Haru and Rin stood in silence next to each other. Hiro and Kira held hands as they too waited.

None seemed too uncomfortable with the silence. The red head man, who was once a boy, slowly touched his beads. Would she still accept them? Would she be afraid this time?

So many questions...so many doubts...so much pain...

Soft crunching footsteps amid the fallen leaves.

Kyo looked up to see the distant figure. Wrapped in a muffler and a coat, she still looked 16. His heart ached for her. Before his brain could kick in, he was moving towards her. In his memory, he was still 16...

_She walked towards him, her smile lifting his heart ever so slightly. How he missed her! He held out his hand, hoping she would take it. She smiled even more when she saw him and quickened her pace. And she ran...straight towards him..._

" Hi...my name is Kyo Sohma..."


End file.
